Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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