fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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