u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel great
I just peed on a car
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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