I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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