my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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