yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I touched a dick in church today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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