I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
