I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
