Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
