Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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