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so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
