Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
