Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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