That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
