I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
