I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
