Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
