Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
