I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
