how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
