thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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