Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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