Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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