Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
