Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
