the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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