You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
