Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
