Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
as a side note pls kill me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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