I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
