dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
