apparently the secret to your success is patron
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
