His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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