i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
