What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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