I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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