i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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