are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
