Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
