sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
