I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
