those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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