If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
