don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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