So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
