I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
