Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she peed on how many people?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
