Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize