how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
