What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
