Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize