Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
