i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i came on her dog
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
