i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
