if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
