So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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