Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
